


Shatter the Darkness

by jesileigh



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 18:00:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20029993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesileigh/pseuds/jesileigh
Summary: Felicity struggles with the fireworks on New Year's Eve in the aftermath of the shooting.





	Shatter the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> TW: this fic does delve into a panic attack/PTSD. Please be aware of your own triggers before reading!

The first time Felicity has a full-fledged panic attack post-shooting by Damien Dahrk’s goons, it’s New Year’s Eve around midnight. She has barely been home a day at that point, and only after pleading with the doctors to believe that Oliver is more than capable of managing her care. It took a lot of finagling, but somehow he’d convinced them to show him how to change her dressings, help her with her bathroom needs and maintain a strict medication schedule of painkillers and antibiotics. She’s still mostly out of it, her senses dulled by the medication and the shock of how drastically her life was changed in those few seconds on Christmas Eve. But Oliver is a paragon of the perfect caretaker; attentive, gentle, almost reverent with her, but never treating her like she was different than she was…  _ before _ . 

Even without the heavy doses of Vicodin running through her system, Felicity had never really been one for celebrating New Year’s. So when she tells Oliver she’s tired, he carries her upstairs, helps her in the bathroom and tucks her into their bed with a kiss, promising he’ll be up soon after he’s tidied up the kitchen. She adjusts herself in the bed as well as she can after he leaves, biting her lip to hold back the tears that prick her eyes as she struggles, and then she falls asleep, thanking the Gods of science for the advancements in pain management technology over the years.

A few hours later, her dreamless sleep is interrupted by loud gunshots, echoing through the loft and she instinctively screams as she tries to duck and cover. But she can’t. Because she can’t  _ move _ . She’s totally helpless, here in this bed. Even if she could get out of it, she couldn’t get down the stairs. She chokes on a sob and covers her head with her arms, rocking back and forth as her stupid brain takes her back to that limo and the blood and Oliver crying, begging her not to leave him. She can feel the cold air of the night pricking her cheeks, feel the wool of her coat against her skin as it turns from pink to red. She can smell the burning rubber of the limo’s tires, the gunpowder and the smoke mingling with the scent of Oliver’s cologne as he holds her and rocks her in his arms. She can taste the blood as much as she can feel it - trickling out of the corner of her mouth, drowning her. 

The explosions continue, one after the other, and she screams again, her voice hoarse now, but then suddenly - she feels Oliver’s arms lifting her and he’s there holding her again, rocking her, promising her everything is going to be okay even though she knows it can’t be. It feels like hours - just the repetitive explosions and the smell of sulfur in the air as Oliver holds her. He strokes her hair, he presses kisses to her head, he even holds a one-sided conversation with her, but finally the noises fade away and she’s able to focus again, looking up from where she is buried against his neck. 

“Hey,” he whispers to her, brushing away the remnants of tears from her cheek with his thumb. “It was the fireworks, baby,” he tells her. “I didn’t even think about - maybe we should have stayed at the hospital for another few days. It’s much farther away from the bay where they set them off.”

Felicity can’t do much more than nod, completely spent and aching from head to toe, but Oliver just adjusts them so they’re both lying down, his arms cocooning her until she feels safe again. 


End file.
